PEEING ON A PUBLIC BUS IN INDIA

PEEING ON A PUBLIC BUS IN INDIA


This story takes us to exotic India. A place
of extreme contrast and my favourite country in the world. Upon arriving in the south of
India, I decided to take my first public bus in the country. Nows, taking a public bus
may not seem like the craziest experience, but let me remind you, this is India! After walking through knee high puddles (compliments
of monsoon season), filled with garbage, piss, and fish (how they got there, I do not know),
I arrive at the bus station. A lady also waiting to go to Ernakulam, kindly informs me that
there may be a few cockroaches living on the bus. A few I can deal with, I tell her. She
also informs me that there is no toilet on the bus. But the driver will stop along the
way right? I ask. No, she replies. This is not the ideal situation for someone who has
to urinate every twenty minutes. As soon as I find a seat in the middle of the bus, I
am greeted by ten to fifteen baby cockroaches. Yum. I sit down and the bus driver pulls away.
The inevitable of course happens next. I need to use the washroom.This bus ride just turned
into the longest and most gruelling ride of my life. Did I mention that the massive pot
holes in the road lift you from your seat continuously. This did not help with my bladder
situation. A couple minutes into the ride, the bus drivers assistant comes over and asks
me to pay 100 rupees for the journey. One hundred rupees, I ask him. I was told it was
only sixty-six rupees. I guess the other thirty-six rupees is skin tax, I say. The assistant chuckles
and drops the price down to eighty rupees. Then he asks me to move to the front of the
bus. The very very front. I looked around and see there are only three other people
on the bus. Do I really need to move? I ask. Yes! Woman in the front, he replies. So, with
the bus skipping along the road and my two bags in hand, I manage to make it to the very
front of the bus. As soon as I sit down, a massive tree branch reaches in the window
and wacks me across the head. This is just the first ten minutes of the bus ride. About two and a half hours into the ride,
my bladder is holding three litres of liquid (at least thats how it feels). So what does
a VERY desperate girl do in such a situation? Finds the most absorbent item in her bag to
shove in her pants so she can relieve herself. A sock. Now, I realize that at this point
in the story, I may lose a few readers. This is completely understandable, but please remember,
I am desperate at this point and a good writer should be honest right? So, I take a clean
sock from my bag and stick it in my pants and do not go. My parents toilet trained me
well. My body will not let me urinate because it knows I am not in the proper setting to
relieve myself. Come on, a sock? But, desperate times call for desperate measures. At this
point I am feeling beyond desperate, but my body knows better, and I just cannot go. To
make matters worse, the bus stops at a station and one hundred people get on. Now, the seat
I am sitting in could fit another two people comfortably, but six more people? Ugh! Three more hours go by and I cannot take it
anymore. I am about to get off on the side of the road, in the middle of who knows where
but probably where no foreigner has gone before, when the bus pulls into a main city station.
People are grabbing at me through the window to sell me snacks and random toys. One man
in particular did not stop hounding me to buy a wooden flute. I do not want a flute,
I tell him. I want a toilet! I turn to the bus driver and ask, How long will you be stopping
for Mr. Bus Driver? He looks at me as if I am an alien. Luckily the kind lady I met at
the beginning of the journey translates my question for the bus driver. The bus will
leave in one minute, the lady tells me. I grab my more important bag of the two, and
I jump out of the bus door. Toilet, toilet! I yell to whoever looks my way. TOILET! WHERE
IS THE TOILET! ANYONE? Finally, the annoying flute vendor points in the direction of the
toilets which is one hundred meters away. I make a mad dash for it. When I finally make
it to the toilets there is a man in front of the stalls telling to pay two rupees. CRAP!
I remember that I only have larger bills on me, which is unacceptable pretty much anywhere
in India. Then I remember I shoved two rupees in my pocket before I left. Luck is finally
on my side. I hand the man the two rupees and run to the toilet stall. First stall,
locked. Second stall, locked. Third forth, fifth, sixth stall, locked! Finally, the last
stall is open! I drop my bag on the washroom floor (gross, i know, but remember I am strapped
for time and my life for the next year is in my bag on the bus), pull down my pants,
and release! This is what I call complete satisfaction. I finish and quickly pull up
my pants. I look back in the stall and realize I forgot the sock in my pants and it was now
in the toilet. I guess this particular sock was destined for a different life purpose.
I laugh and quickly dash across the station towards the bus. I only have five second left
until the bus leaves. The bus rings the bell, which means that it is just about to leave,
when I realize the bag I am carrying is open. I turn around and quickly zip it up. I run
so fast that I could have definitely come first place in a marathon, when I finally
reach the bus as its just pulling away. I quickly jump through the door when I hear,
Miss, Miss! I turn around and see the flute vendor chasing after me with my scarf in his
hand. He quickly throws it to me through the bus window. Thank you!I yell. I collapse in
my seat with a big sigh of relief. This has definitely been quite the journey. So, what is the lesson learned from this experience?
1) Never underestimate someones generosity. 2) If you are thinking of taking a public
bus in India, make sure you bring some Depends or a Freshette or SheWee or Go Girl.
Happy Travels!

100 comments

  1. no offense but seriously cockroaches on the bus! which bus was that?I'm from India and have traveled in buses here.never seen cockroaches ever.

  2. Totally wrong, when you go to any new city/country then you don't expect same situation as your own country. Each country has it's culture. Before go to any country you must know how to travel, mode of travelling, toilets particularly ladies.
    Same experience will be face if some one first time go to UK/US. So is may possible it happens in some part of India, but rest of India is not like this.
    I think lady may find some good things also i hope that this video also published in You tube …A true Indian

  3. India has the most Airline companies in the world private Indigo, Jet airways, kingfisher,spice jet etc….. I suggest you that… Most of the small towns also have Airports now…. 🙂 njoy

  4. Yeah stupid India. India should have been like Canada. Why was it so different than home. Crib crib crib. At least we don't have whore houses in our cities and don't lick the queens arse.

  5. well just wanna give one advice to foreigners who visit India , value of Rupee is anyways very low so spend some money and go in a good bus or train, there are many many buses trains houses etc etc which are in great condition with good facilities , even Indian middle class people don't travel in such buses. There is a huge number of people who are poor and thus they travel in these buses as they are cheap and also they are used to travel on them but I am sure you people are not so poor atleast in india so spend some money or ig you just want to experience how poor live so atleast stop making it look like that everyone in India travels like this and all the buses or trains or whatever are like this in india

  6. Yep, have been similar situations during my travels! Even life lessons of underestimating individuals I thought were annoying …who in turn helped me out! 
    Your exaggerations are pretty much how it feels to someone who takes themselves out of their comfort zone to experience different cultures… even when you try to prepare for it! It would have been nice to mention the positive things too as many don't understand your humor & apparently got offended. Thanks for the vivid flashbacks! … kinda. lol

  7. Comments on this video shocks me. Look at the filth language used by us Indians for a girl. This is our culture? Haven't your mother, sister, daughter been in the same problem as this girl. Lucky she found a toilet. Once I had to knock on the door of a random house for one of my female family member. Let us face the fact that public transportation and rest facilities are pathetic in India, and need to be improved. I am sorry Kristen for poor language used by fellow Indians.

  8. Hey Kristen, everything you said is quite spot on. I apologize on behalf of my uncouth countrymen who have abused you in the comment section. Even after nearly 70 years of Independence, many people in my country have an inferiority complex and therefore can't take negative comments from white people. Ignore them. And dont judge all of my country based on some dorks.

  9. Why is no one commenting on how offensive this is to Indians? And also, how about the amount of cultural appropriation and stereotyping in this video? I just don't find this funny at all.

  10. Welcome to India where the cows eat hay
    And we drive auto-rickshaws everyday
    Goat-meat, yummy sweets while monkeys roaming
    The roosters don't crow till five in the morning!

  11. ive lived in india for 16years and from my experience i can conclude that you are a lying bitch and ive never seen a cockroach on a bus ive never traveled in a bus of such description we have clean means of transport with toilets on them and if ur on a bus without one just ask the driver he will politely stop and this is my first hate comment on youtube you have just insulted me and my country and i shall not tolerate this.

  12. hey baby u r jokin abt cocks in buses …aaaaaahh….ths is not true..may b u live in gutter or some other same place that'sy u say all this stupid things

  13. 😉 actually many men wear socks in their pants – especially skiing socks 😉
    (The green screen shots suffer from far miking + overdose of room ambience)

  14. I'm pretty sure if this video were made by a brown woman, it would not have as many dislikes. #reverseracism #doublestandards

  15. I understand this whole downshifting thing, but I really couldn't comprehend why would anyone from the Europe or US would want to live in such designated country like India.

  16. Then why d fuck u came to India..?? we never come to u & explore ur country's dirty or slum area & seriously which bus u took ??

  17. you can also take volvo bus.. fully ac bus also cab train.. so many options.. why you guys choose cheap options and bonus of it you want to complain.. lolz ssly

  18. Oscar award goes to …..
    life of pee…. poor girl thinks she is the best…s…h..

  19. Indians are dirty only on the outside but you people are dirty from inside because you have sex with multiple people. Jesus had said, "Thou shall not have adulterous eyes". But you commit adultery and call yourself Christians. You are anti-Christians actually.

  20. Why not bring a bunch of Depends. Lots of wipes a thermos full of water and a porta potty a baby's potty lots of soap Purell and insecticide.

  21. Being an Indian , this video hits very hard . There are areas which need improvement , and it appears that you traveled rural India (where the things are not very good). Yes Hawkers , language problem exist , mugging the foreigners exist, over talking with fairer gender . We acknowledge these issues , however we also have luxury buses , five start hotels , Buses with attached toilets , express highway roads (which compete international roads). Remote rural India , has buses running on roads (which have potholes). But we have modern cities , IT hubs , GPRS enabled vehicles, many english speaking educated people (who speak like native speakers , although english is not their first language) , clean roads in big cities , great culture , land of yoga $monks . India is a country of Have and Have nots . Please research , very well to make yourself comfortable in India . Advise from a friend and a loyal Indian

  22. No this is not true for India. It has a very high level luxury traveling network. Sorry , We are not agree with you.

  23. They add extra stuff to make the video popular by saying fictions stuff like they found crockoaches to say bad about India and then she depicts a Sikh guy as a conductor of the bus.Where in Kerala is the conductor guy a Sikh guy?Stupid Americans

  24. Why do people like u go cheap and use public buses and then complain…..i mean being an Indian i know my priorities and i never travel in public bus….know that there r many class's of people in india so u will get the best of best and the worst of worst so choose according to ur comfort

  25. Oh nd by the way u meet a lady(who is a strange to u) and the first thing she told u was that there must be cockroaches on the bus….like really stop making the story bigger than it really is
    P.s i feel like i am watching some overdramatic tv show😂

  26. Aww poor little fragile snowflake! You should have some basic sense when you travel somewhere. Most importantly, to carry their currency with you. Also, there can never be a cockroach in a bus.
    Stop exaggerating for attention xD

  27. Noting like this
    No coacroach
    No 6 people sit with you on your seat
    Noooooo and I do not like this video at all
    Bad video

  28. south and north india is very dirty as well as the people are dirty come to northeast india .. u will see a different side of india.. very clean people and place

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *