Oh We’re straight into it, no main menu. No nothing. Hello, tiny beach ball. It’s squats you should be doing kid, those are some fuckin’ chicken legs. I should know. *Character breathing heavily* Oh, God. Never mind. What the- I’m- I’m in the game, apparently. Okay! Uhm, *wapoosh* top of the mornin’ to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye, and welcome back to Hello Neighbor! I know, I’ve played the start of this game Seven hundred million times, but there’s an exception this time because the game is now out! This is the full release of Hello Neighbor. No more betas, no more alphas, this is the legit version that you can pay for on Steam right now Which is kind of alarm bells to me because the last time I played this game was not that long ago, and it was nowhere absolutely near complete So, I want to figure out what the hell the game has to offer now on its full complete version *Grass being crunched* These kids are not m-missing, they’re just simming! They’re just- maybe that’s it. Maybe this is a-a call to action against trying to make kids play The Sims for too long.. It’s like *Nasally Voice* “Have you seen these kids? They’ve been Simming all day!” It’s like sinning except, it’s not against Jesus and the Lord God above. *Looks up pretending to see Jesus* It’s- it’s just against the parents. Hey! There’s the neighbor’s house or my house or that’s usually my house Well, this one’s could be the neighbor’s house ’cause there’s a crashed car– Where’d my ball go?? I completely forgot about my ball all a sudden. Also that was a beach ball. You don’t kick those around- There it is! Never mind! Crisis averted *Low suspicious tune plays* *Character gasps* Jack: Oh.. You need someone to go to work on that face *Character huh’s in confusion* Jack: UGHH? (mocking character) *A person screams loudly in the neighbor’s home* *Object falling over sound in the neighbor’s house* *Neighbor grunts in pain* *Object falling over sound in the neighbor’s home* *Neighbor screaming in the background*Jack: Okay *Jack’s character gasps* *Creepy suspicious music continues playing* Yeah, I saw what you did Mr. Wilson! Mainly because I’m right outside your house I am a teeny tiny human! The scale of that looked so weird! Oh no, he’s eating her, and then he’s gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD *Cheerful tone* Hi! *Neighbor gasps noticing jack* *Stammering* Uh- I- I- I didn’t see anything, HOLY CHRIST! *A person screaming yet again* *Key clinks* *Door slams shut* Okay, just leave your favorite key there. *Person screaming in the background* The-the neighbor has to be your dad or something at this point right..? and I think that’s been a theory that’s been going around for a really long time But he has the same-same swirl chin, you know how some people have like an ass face? He’s got a swirl face I’m just going in this house. This is a much nicer house. Okay, open up. Wow, look at this! Seriously, is the camera located in my chest? I’m a teeny tiny little boy With tiny little chicken legs! Look at them go!! I really need to squat. And also, again, see a plastic surgeon about that face Okay, nice house. Can I take a bath? I SAID A BATH, NOT A SHOWER.>:( *weird high-pitched Russian voice* Can I take a little shitu? A little shitu.. *normal voice* Okay, just dip my shoes in there, clean it up nice. I have turned off the world! I’ve turned off my house-this weird creepy M.C. Escher house Right, this is really bizarre because.. I have no idea what’s going on–the family! Ah, is that a reference to the family gaming TV YouTube channel? cuz they’ve done about seven hundred thousand episodes of Hello Neighbor and then stopped doing episodes of Hello Neighbor because there was nothing else to do, but then did other games, but then put “Hello Neighbor” in all the titles and thumbnails because it got views THAT YouTube channel? *Neighbor gasps at Jack’s teeny tiny sexy body* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I didn’t see anything, I didn’t see anything! You should put your pants on when you’re in your own house! Not really though. I-I’m actually not wearing any pants right now. *laughs because he’s ashamed of what he has become, scolding the poor neighbor for having no pants on even though he is the one with no pants. For shame, Jack.* A bit hypocritical of me. -that’s for sure.>:(- You don’t mind if I rub all up on your car, do ya? Oooh Climby sack! I am a tiny child in this game, and tiny children love to climb things, especially precarious things that are gonna break their own legs So that’s what I’m gonna do. Look, I’m up here. What are you- what are you doing? I mean, what’s my objective right this second? He just came through the fucking window like a terminator Okay, look. I just I just wanted my ball look got the- got the- I can’t pick up my own ball You wanna play fetch??? Here, Dad. Look, play fetch!!! Where did you go though with all those years ago? What happened to Mommy? What did you do to her? Catch the ball, Dad. GET THE FUCKING BALL- my ball ran away. Just like my dad did all those years ago. What are you doing? HOLY GOD He was a professional long jumper back in his day. I know what you’re thinking. He was high jumping there a second ago, boy *stammers* High jumping is just long jumping vertically. Oh, he’s asleep. That’s good That’s enough time for me to break in and steal all of his shit nice Okay, I mean- oh god. This is a dead end The key for that That’s what is that I don’t know okay, can I look through the keyhole? It’s not a thing you’re able to do in the game. Oh, oh oh Shit shit shit I didn’t hear you don’t you see me. I’m like John Cena Okay, I need to do something out here. Where’s this cable go Excuse me Okay, okay, it’s time to stand up- time to stand up. Wait- This is me standing up god. I’ve barely even move Okay, I’m trying to hit this and go there at the same time is that- is that do this? No, no this just turns off the power in the house, I thought it reacted to this thing okay Okay, what is that power connected to? Something in here that I surpass fucking Jesus Christ oh Okay Wow that scared me woohoo, I’m fine You hiding secrets anywhere, I can’t fuckin see because I’m about four inches tall There’s a book in the ground. Okay. Can I sleep in your bed that is a giant bowl of coffee? I like it I’m into it. I appreciate that respect, bro Okay, there’s nothing here um oh flashlight No, pick it up Why are we able to turn it on but not pick it up. Oh you have to hold to pick it up. I forgot Good god that flashlight is the size of a moon next to me. Hello darkness my old friend I’ve come to throw flashlights at you again. That was an accident. Oh, so don’t look too much into it Righty-tighty need to figure out. We’re doing this properly, okay. I mean I mean I mean I’ve no idea where I’m going He’s running a shower oh god, I don’t want to see mr.. Wilson naked Okay, I need to get something somewhere. I’m hiding here. I don’t like it man It’s so fucking hard to know where he is oh? Fuck fuck fuck fuck I need to find some keys. Oh god. What now? Where am I hey uh? No stranger danger fuck you Okay, okay fine I go with you what the jeez Well you crashed your car, bro. How are you out there, but also here? What’s going on So I’m guessing something oh, I’m guessing where will you learn that your actions have consequences? Against that something happened to his wife or child so maybe I’m the child maybe I’m in hell Little tiny doll ooh I can’t actually get out over this can I all right? Uh I’ll go down here to keep crying next to the car does wonders for you And back here Right I need to start formulating some sort of plan then on how to get into cells See my problem with this is that his AI is so unpredictable that Sure, I could throw a thing against the window, but in all of sudden. He just changed his mind and comes back anyway even in the house right now oh there he is Okay, I’m not gonna be on his property. Just yet cuz he likes to not like that You had to come out play fetch turn off the power. He goes out and checks it right Oh come on for fuck’s sake how do I’m supposed to know how well-hidden I am or anything like that He just rounded the corner I didn’t even see him, and then I was like *gasp* Hurt my neck neighbor Hello, it’s me your boy friend Is that the right term What what the fuck? How can you see me before I see you? Okay, okay, okay, okay? Okay? Okay? Okay pick him Go keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing. No keys keys keys keys Where the fuck are you, Keys. Bro, I need to find him I’ll reach in dear soul There’s nothing anywhere. Are you even able to open this shit? There’s nothing here. There’s nothing anywhere. I’m not. I’m not in your house I swear I’m a nice boy. Oh Really I Have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing That broke you goddamn window how you feel about that bitch It wasn’t me I want to hear your plan on the street your windows broke Figured I was the other kids or that Geoffrey up the street Rapscallion, Tania yeah, yeah keep on keep on searchin. I’m just gonna be over here trying to figure out. What the fuck? You picked the weirdest ways to getting back into your house, man. Where are my parents? Alrighty plan formulation is a go. I’m gonna see can I pick up these yes Okay, I’m gonna pick up these boxes. I’m gonna bring it over to the roof I’ll set the roof the roof the roof is on fire I’m gonna stack them up here the thing you’re watching sounds dumb I’m a kid I know better. I know it’s cool How do I put you down there? We go just like that huh? huh Hey, I’m up here now, I fucking did it there’s more to go Okay, bye my problem last time was that I was too. Spry. Okay, maybe if I go There we go Okay, I need I need something else do I not have another box or another item? Okay, okay if I break this he’s gonna come in though What the fuck just happened? I Bounced back for some reason. What!? What!? [x2] What?! [x3] Why?! How You Do That? I Need To Learn From You Man! If I could do that then I’d be up there in no time flat Okay, I need to go up there again, though You go back in your house. Don’t pay attention anything on the roof. It’s just squirrels Very heavy boy shaped squirrels, okay. I can’t climb anymore My parents don’t love me, and they’re not home treat me nicely No, you don’t know you don’t you can’t get up here Okay, he kind of can though, and that’s fucking terrifying okay, and gone in here. It’s locked What I Open something. I open some sort of great. Oh great Okay, okay turn on the fan Can I take the fan Can’t do anything with the fan. That’s fine. That’s fantastic There’s there’s nothing even here how did he even get up here, maybe he came through that door? That’s some keyholes how did he do that before thought I do holdy to do it. It’s not working Hello pe-rogress nice to meet you, I’ll take some elgu otherwise known as glue Ok progress There we go okay, I might actually I’ll keep you because I might need you again You’re downstairs right? You’re just freaking me out cuz you’re close, but you’re not really that close I Don’t know what that date I have no idea what that did oh, oh that’s another key for something else Throw that Okay, I got a little key, okay, I made some progress. That’s good It’s not around here, I don’t know what this key opens, and I don’t know what the thing I just did did wait Let me see Across here is that that one? Oh? The fun’s on everybody That’s opening or closing a gate somewhere I Can kind of see through oh I can see what’s key one in this one red key, that’s the one I need I hear you Harry Jarvis. You keep saying your name over and over and over again All right, I don’t know what turning all that fun did What was that? What was the purpose of that oh, it opened up the whole panel in his house? Oh? Shit now we can actually just go straight there Okay, ah damn it that was my perfect time as well cuz he was asleep. Okay. What next that connects all The way out here All the way back over here oh Wait a minute how the hell am I supposed to do that As soon as I hit the switch that went up Apparentiy supposed to get up there again anyway, okay, we trade out Take out my glue just in case I dropped my keys by mistake oh You left testicle Just go get the glue just go get the glue bitch I’m up here guy Alright he’s down there again. Oh more glue. Good. Good. Good for me You’re gonna pick it up I Can’t cuz I have the fucking glue Here you go. What ah Killed him he’s dead now. I did that that was me. I’m going back to my house. You can’t get me over here I have a sacred salt line in the grass that you cut across or you will burst into flames demon Okay well go back in your house, and enjoy your time. There’s absolutely no way I’d be able to make that Smack my ass and call me Judy. Cuz I just made that yo Oh Oh Fucking oh, my god jeepers creepers. Where’d you get those peepers? Okay well at least I might have been able to do that. Hopefully that saved the progress. I just made Jesus Christ, I mean I know I was small before but this is taken to peace Okay big hey neighbor Hey, it was me that shit in your porch that time now. I’m not even afraid to admit it so I know usually to be Up again, okay, I might not have to get over there again. I Mean it would make the most sense, but just in case Yeah, I’m able to get in there anyway, okay? Oh Come on You have a fucking door Hey He grabbed me my ankles okay, I’m just gonna come over here and try it again and keep trying it until I get through Is that okay with you? Can you move forward can you fucking can you? I did it. Haha hi. I’m an amazing boy. Okay, you take out. This key. You just open the fucking windows Maybe he’ll sense it and then come out and then be like oh, I don’t see any boys out here on my roof I’m gonna go back downstairs You better do that because I want to stay up here live up here. This is my new house apparently have no parents I might as well live somewhere Maybe I eat, maybe I just moved out Maybe I’m actually like 25 years old I just have a boy’s body Neighbor That’s not here That’s good I’m going in here now, and I’m gonna steal your red key. Haha how about you drew all these by the way? Was it me? Am I your boy? Am I actually your son Raggedy Ann you need to come with me as well Come on Raggedy Ann we’re going on an adventure where we’re going we don’t need parents We need the police actually as the parents are fucking terrifying See up here Dave Lady I don’t even know if he is my dad or not I’m just saying he’s my dad cuz it’s hilarious to say that um okay. We go out, and we’ll turn the power off Oh, I can’t watch my stories no more Thank You Ricky, Ricky Ricky Ricky I did it I did it I made progress Hey, we got a level down That’s not how washing machines work I have one I should know but okay into the Narnia tunnel we go It’s the chronic. What cools a Narnia Basketball my best friend whoa whoa I’m just gonna stay here play with this all day Kobe Yay, or I could probably go to sleep? Or. I’m gonna be a fucking rambunctious scamp It’s all fake It’s all just a set Truman Show man behind the mirror That’s a bad idea Wait wait wait would they turn off the power give me light sources Is he in this level Do I still have to avoid him Little mannequin, I’m asking you questions and you can answer that what you’re saying okay fair enough no need to yell it at me This is a dirty house you should clean it Though your floor is actually just the dirt, so I think you can clean it You should have to move get a better house is house sucks toast eats And the music is still playing which does that something about a car crash? Something about pizza. There’s pizza truck that he hit At the same room well, that’s a different room. This is really bizarre I Can’t see anything Luckily for me I have a Fletch late Imma going to use at the flashlight to see through the darkness All right, okay all Right dad I hear someone digging a grave. That’s actually sparks. Okay? I Can pick up bricks yeah, take that you damn wall hi? I’m the strongest boy Who touch the pretty sparks Man oh This is why I turn off the power We have to go all the way back Wait these should be shortcuts now Turn off the power and then that would be awful now. I have actually have the flashlight to be able to see where I’m going Okay, that’s not a short good. Eye Hey, this is open now, okay touch the button Okay that opened that But how do I get in that? That I request oh That’s Lockheed Its Lockard by a chair Now my arm is itchy do I have the disease oh? I didn’t want that today. We go back and turn the power on Yay lights camera function right let’s get back to this area now and See if there’s anything we can do. Where was it over here. Okay on my way Hmm can I touch you and I fucking did it Nice okay, and I made it out What that what that with the fuck okay, I’m running I’m running see you later daddy I’m running this way. Oh God Well I guess I had to get caught because I know he’s dad locked me out of the house And he said no more keys for you. He spanked me on a boat isn’t that boy? Okay now we’re in act two I lost my shoe. That’s for sure and our guys. It’s fucking weird Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles foot oh This is Not the Chamber of Commerce or the Chamber of Secrets. It’s just a death chamber. Okay well I’m gonna leave this episode of hello neighbor here. I’m actually glad I made some progress I thought it was going to be like all the other alphas and betas and everything that I played here was just gonna be so Obtuse that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing but fair play to them cock away I was gonna die I didn’t expect that there was gonna be a whole lot new to it um But now it actually seems like there’s a structure that there’s some acts that there’s levels and that does progression and all that kind of stuff Can I pick up the candles? Right now see I’m already curious on how I how I get through the next parts um Yeah, I didn’t I actually expect to have some sort of core here a coherence at all to it even though they’re still not really I have no idea what’s going on. I don’t know if it will actually make sense I’m sure a lot of people out there are gonna be very excited now that there’s a whole story out there to be able to Play because everyone’s been theorizing about this for a really long time But I’m still not a fan of they Guess what you have to do kind of game play like there’s literally no sort of indication of what you’re supposed to be doing or if what you’re doing is actually making progress I’m fine if getting into a game, and it doesn’t tell you what to do That’s kind of what blood-borne and Dark Souls and those kinds of games do and a lot of old-school games do that? But when you’re doing that and you still feel like you’re making no progress It’s a bit all over the place And I don’t really know what I’m doing or if what I’m doing is having actually any effect than the world Or if the items I’m gathering or of Anna used to me stuff like that So it’s efficient made very clear But we’ll see what the rest of the levels to offer if that’s just the way it is in the beginning I have no idea but I I’m gonna give it a shot and give it a fair go and Just see what the game has to offer but for now Thank you guys so much watching this episode if you liked it punch that like button in the face luego boys and Wow Punched my mic stand I know my hands. Did you get out of here?