BB Ki Vines- | Titu Mama |

BB Ki Vines- | Titu Mama |

Stop sleeping for long hours! Who wakes up at 12 noon? Who wakes up early when it is a holiday? Don’t argue Get ready and go. Titu’s train must
have reached the station already Let me wear my shoes. You are always late Clean your shoes Who’s gonna see them? Shoes should be clean enough to see your
face in it. Then why hang mirrors? Let’s hang shoes
instead. Go fast. He must be waiting for you. Punjabis going to Canada & Titu,
don’t wait for anyone Hold my bag -Titu!
-Oho! How have you been, Sister? The market has not opened yet I’m asking about you. I’m fine And brother-in-law… I’m fine Give me some water He was on his way to pick you I don’t need anyone. I do all my jobs
by myself I want some tea.
-Okay Mama, namaste You don’t touch Mama’s feet. Good, good Namaste Shameless, you won’t touch my feet? Didn’t you just say that we don’t
touch your feet? Who’s my nephew? He is Then get your blessings
from me. You are here after so long We met last time when I
was a kid Remember when you used to come to my
place for summer holidays? You, your Mami and I used to play
hide and seek? Yes, I remember. I used to hide
and you were unable to find me for hours Remember when we had a birthday
party for you in our garden? Yes, yes. And your Mami and I suddenly went in the
house because there was a fire? Yes. Something had happened. You were in
the house for almost an hour Actual fire can be quenched with water But what about the fire in the loins? Your Mami was looking fine as fuck that day We gave you a big collection of Marvale
(Marvel) comics, remember? Yeah, I remember. I used to feel like
going to Asgard all the time Your Mami used to call me the same. What? Asgard You didn’t you bring Kavita
with you? Yeah, I like poems(Kavita) too. Fool! Mami’s name is Kavita. Sorry, sorry. She doesn’t get out of the house She keeps watching BBC all day. We have BBC coverage here as well He has BBC in his computer as well. How’s your job going on? You know how bank jobs are
these days? No It is a strenuous job. After demonetization
there is relief now. There was a lot of money that it was
difficult to count it all I have made a fixed deposit in my bank So should I convert the deposit
in cash? Virginity and fixed deposit should only be
dealt with after maturity What? Now that you are here, wait for a few
days. We’ll do sightseeing We’ll see the Kutub Minar.
-Yes, sure. And we’ll see that Mumtaz’s kabr(grave)
as well But that is in Agra. I was talking about my friend Asif’s
sister Mumtaz. I was talking about her kabr Okay, okay. Then Asif asked me to go and meet her. Meet her? We’ll ask her how she’s doing How will you ask her how she’s
doing? She’s dead. Are you out of your mind? Poor thing, she works so hard in the
cabaret and you’re hell bent on killing her Okay, cabaret. Will the tea come all the way from
China or should I get a visa? I left it on the gas. She was forgetful right from the
beginning. She forgot me in the market. When she came for shopping two weeks later,
she found me in a shoe shop. Found? You know those kids in the top floor of
shoe shops who throw shoes below? I was that kid. Some biscuits? We’ve no biscuits in the house So what shall we have tea with? I’ll check once again. What are you grinning at? Lizard’s ass Listen, I don’t work in a bank. I just said
that to avoid questions from your Mom And one should answer only those questions
which one actually can. My real job is recovering money from
people. Who watches crime shows on TV? I watch. Excellent. Get out. I need brains like Sherlock Holmes for this
jobb. I’m searching for a guy who has conned me
for 2 million rupees(2 lakhs) If you help me find him, I’ll give you
both 2% commission each What is 2% of 20 lakhs? You’d be sold in Bangkok for that amount
40000 rupees. But Mama, how will we find him? Note his number. Talk in different voices and get his
address. do bara, ek saath, teen-teen choda(fucked
2 times, 3 girls together) Damn. Does Mami know? 212173314 Listen, you second rate Johnny Depp, if you
talk shit again, I’ll remove that braid of yours and shove
it up your arse And you’ll look like a horse But the city is soo big. Will you be
able to recognize him? My name is Titu. If a person wrongs me just
once, I never forget him Okay. We’ll get to it. If we could get an advance? *flips middle finger* Here’s some advice, while working with
Titu, no advance Working against Titu, no chance. Oho, what is brewing between Uncle and his
nephew? Nothing special. I’m seeing him after
a long time and brought no gifts.. So I’ll give him cash instead. Take this, buy what you want and get this
horse his fodder as well. 1000 bucks? And we’ll get the 2% separately right? Thank you so much Mama Don’t thank me. I could give my life
for you. Just settle that 2% with us. What is this 2%? Nothing special. He wants to know my
bank’s interest rate. Let’s go man. No, no. I’m not interested Let’s go and smoke some cigarettes with
the dead at the crematorium. No but I don’t smoke cigarettes.


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